In a world often dominated by digital chatter and fleeting notifications, the age-old art of letter writing might seem outdated at first sight.
We’re so used to our words, conveniently typed and immediately received, disappearing in the depth of yet so shallow chats, that it’s easy to forget just how precious conversations can be.
Of course, the medium doesn’t define how meaningful a conversation can be!
But I do find, that the medium can set a tone and depending on which one you choose, offer the opportunity to express said meaning in more ways than words.
For me, this is what letters turned out to be.
Ink on paper, pressed flowers and wax seals, little doodles, cards and goodies chosen and often even made for the friend who’s day I want to sweeten with a smile on their face…
I believe letters are the perfect medium to express myself and have both deeper as well as just especially fun casual social experiences, without the overwhelm of flashing notifications and expectation of constant availability.
Let me introduce you to the wonderful world of penpaling, where we get to feel like we’re on Green Gables, excitedly running up to the mail man, to read from our friends.
Initiation – Finding A Pen Pal
So you started your quest to get some of that old timey romance into your daily life.
What now?
You could start by asking a friend you already have to try it out with you though that might not be the best option if you want to express or even discover a whole new part of yourself. One that perhaps uses bigger words, allows themselves to revel in the beauty of simple joy and write about the hues of purple reaching into that bright blue sky that afternoon, that sparked your inspiration and so on.
I recommend building new relationships through letters, so you’re fully free in your expression.
There’s multiple websites, that focus on finding contacts all over the world.
I wasn’t successful in finding one, that focuses on snail mail specifically, in a way I was comfortable with but you’ll probably find, that on any site containing the word “penpal” in it’s title – no matter wether the site itself refers to online contacts or not – there’s people asking for actual letter correspondence.
That’s how I found my pen pals.
Important!
NEVER just give your adress to strangers on the internet!
The best way to start safely is looking into P. O. Box services if that’s an option for you.
Also make sure to check every address given to you first. I use Google Maps to make sure it’s real and matches the information I got so far from getting to know the person in question online. Do that even if you’re certain they’re super safe, since it’s also a good way to make sure there aren’t any typos that would make your letter never arrive where it’s supposed to go.
Sending Self Expression
One of the main reasons I started to engage in letter writing, aside from breaking out of isolation, was my break with social media.
As many, I used it for a while, to try and find inspiration and connection as well as a way to express myself. However, I ended up just overwhelming myself with all the flashing, addictive content and thousands of different portraits of perfection, fueling my perfectionism and leaving me feeling frustrated at times.
My letters aren’t perfect. I spill ink, draw messy little doodles, apply stamps unevenly and my handwriting is… rustic.
But the things I draw are drawn with actual inspiration for the eyes of the receiver only. The paper, stamps, seals, ink and decorations I use, reflect me as a person and aim to draw joy from someone specific, instead of likes on a screen.
The letters I receive are vastly different depending on the person!
Some are highly decorated with drawings, stickers and all the colours of the rainbow. Some use a different, special paper every time they write, others stay with the same letter paper, plain printer paper or pages ripped from a noteblock.
It’s not about being the most fancy or artistic or what not – every letter suits the person behind it. That’s what’s so beautiful about them all.
Setting The Scene
When writing, I like to romanticise the process to really get this whimsical, dreamy feeling I’m striving for.
For me that means lighting a glow candle, putting on noise cancelling headphones to drown out everything but my ambience music, using an ink pen (I’m even considering trying out a glass pen!) and writing on brown paper.
Sometimes I also like to make myself a cup of tea, but I find that I end up hyperfocusing on my writing for sometimes over an hour and when I come back to reality the cup is still full and now cold.
Sometimes, romanticising simple things can feel overwhelming, usually on the days I’d need these precious minutes of calm the most.
So I keep all my supplies in a little basket in a cupoard under the “desk” I always write on.
“Desk” is in quotation marks because I actually write on the surface of an 100 year old sewing machine.
This might sound over the top (because it is) but I happen to have this gorgeous tool anyways, so why not use it?
Furthermore, having a treadle under my feet does wonders for my ADHD-Brain!
Besides the basket, containing candles, matches, decorative stamps and ink pads, as well as wax sealing supplies, I also keep a little tray in that compartment. It holds my paper, pen and envelopes, which I have bound together with some twine to keep them together.
This way, using all my fancy tools is just as convenient for me, as getting out a piece of paper and a pencil to write a quick note!
It also makes it extremely easy to put everything back where it belongs.
I never end up with a cluttered surface or messy stationary drawer!
Before I got the sewing machine, I used to have it all in a drawer at my desk, which worked just as well – You really don’t need a whole fancy setup!
Whispering Words Onto Pages
When replying to a letter, I first like to estimate how many pages I’ll need.
That depends on surprisingly many factors but you develop a feeling for it quite quickly in my experience.
I take as many pages as I guestimated and decorate them with stamps, keeping it simple and easy on the eye.
I don’t write double sided so it’s smart to leave plenty of space for the actual writing.
In germany, letters over 20g are a bit more expensive and letters over 50g cost almost as much as a little package!
When it comes to writing, I’m terrible at filling an empty page!
Which is quite ironic considering I’m blogging…
I find that it gets easier over time. As the conversation picks up momentum, you get questions to answer and curious about specific things to send questions back. You also get to know the other person more, get comortable sharing things you’re currently excited about and so (probably) will they.
The hardest part is writing the first letter. When starting a new correspondence I still try to avoid being the first to send a letter…
However, there are some tools that helped me a lot in the beginning so that by now, I’m at least not just staring at a page hoping for a gnome to waddle up and write it for me, if only I stare hard enough.
My tool of choice is Chat GPT!
Admittedly I used to be quite scared of AI and using it gave me the same social anxiety as writing with a stranger online. It’s just too good!
But it turned out to be a wonderful tool to get examples of introduction letters!
It also has a way of describing things that I find easier to understand than a lot of explanations by other humans.
The way I did it, was telling the AI to write me a letter to the specifications and expressing the personality I told it to implement.
Then I repeated that process a few times, specifying and asking for different formats as needed.
Et voila: I had a whole list of socially appropriate phrases, different letter structures and examples for different levels of formality to pick and choose from.
This was enough for me to manage to write my own letter, consulting my AI teacher for more examples when I felt overwhelmed again.
I only needed it twice till I was able to write all by myself! ^^
Charming Closure – Personal Finishing Touches
If I get an excuse to use sealing wax I will use it!
I’m a creature of habit and love consistency, so after experimenting with different seals and wax colours for a while, I embarked on my quest to find the perfect stamp and colour to turn into my signature on the envolope.
I change things up depending on the season but for now, I use a eucalyptus leaf stamp and dark green sealing wax.
I spent weeks searching for the perfect combination and waited over a month on it all to arrive. It’s soo worth it!
A bit like with snowdrops, eucalyptus holds a special place in my heart so I love that I can now kind of identify with it.
As for the writing on the envelope, I use my printer to put on the addresses.
I just don’t trust my handwriting to be readable enough so that the letter ends up at the right place.
I also like the tidy look it gives.
I also like to add a little drawing that matches the topic of the current conversation or portrays something the recipient likes, such as their favourite animal, a flower they mentioned etc.
I usually draw them on my iPad and then print them on, because I’m not exactly good at drawing and desperately need the ability to erase!
That’s all there really is to my letter writing process!
One of the things I love most about sending letters, is adding little goodies to them but I have so much to revel on about that, that this will need it’s own post.
(In progress already! ^^)
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my rambling!
May your days be filled with words full of wonder
Have a wonderful week!
Snowdrop